Tuesday, October 28, 2014

~IS MY REPUTATION RUINED?~

Actually, if it wasn't ruined before...it will be this time!  But I am going to take a deep breath and just jump into the water...if it's icy.. :) I'll survive.
How's that for the "dramatic?"  
So..
this is what happened.

This is Frank and I.  I was sixty five and he was seventy.

This is NOT a good picture of either of us..Frank was a nice looking man and this photo was horrible.  He looked cranky and the light hit him and washed out his features.  It's just a bad photo..but I can't find the photo's we took the day we got married.   Below is another one of the family toasting us at a reception we gave so the families could meet.

This is another bad picture.
In this picture my son is on the left and my sister on the right.  We are that tired pair in the background.
  We had married in Las Vegas and had been busy getting this gathering together and we were both worn out.  I just wanted to sleep!

I do hope you are sitting down.
I met Frank on MATCH.COM  Indeed I did!!
We met for the first time online the day after Thanksgiving.. and
 met in person on December 7th, 2001, and were married on New Years Eve just three weeks later.
See?  I knew you would be shocked~!!
So was I!  So were our children and that's putting it mildly!

He, like Howard, was one of the sweetest men I've ever met.  Strong, kind, funny.  He was an outdoors man.  The antlers you see on our walls now are from him.  He was a hunter and fisherman.
He branded cattle, rode horses, owned rifles and loved the outdoors...and I grew to love Frank dearly.
He had three great kids....all grown with families.

I had a wonderful life with Frank.  When we married he insisted that I retire..and at 65, I was ready.
We traveled, we went deep sea fishing, we fixed up the home he had bought shortly before his wife died..and he was like Howard in that he and I worked together on things on our home..planting a rose garden..tree's etc.
We had fun.

Match.com was my first experience on such a site and it worked.  The only thing I remember of what I wrote in my "bio" was "I love cute shoes and soft sweaters!"  The rest has left my memory.  Why I remember that I don't know, but looking back I would not have thought it would have appealed to a man.

We nearly didn't meet because I had put in the wrong address.   When I finally agreed to try match.com..I said I would give it three days.  My friend kept telling me "Well you aren't going to meet anyone by doing nothing.  Do you expect some nice man to just walk up and knock on your door??"  Of course she was right.  I had girlfriends and as dear as they were to me..I was lonely.  So, when the three days ended..and there was NOTHING,  not a single word,  I was so embarrassed that I went to Match.com  to cancel my page.
I almost hit the button to delete and then I suddely noticed it..the address had a type O!  We fixed it and left it for another day.  The following morning...I got the surprise of my life!  There were so many responses that I couldn't believe it.  I called my friend...and we had a great time reading them and decided to print some of the ones that were interesting.   The third one down was Frank, but he had no picture and lived very far away.  Still, there was something...so I answered his letter and he contacted me.  After a week he wanted to drive the three hours to meet me.  I agreed but I told him I thought that three hours away was too far.  He disagreed!  :)

 We met for the first time on December 7, 2001 and were married on New Years eve..just three weeks later.
I know it was quick...but my instinct was right.  Just as it was 7 years later when I met Howard.
Frank and I were married for 6 years and on March 22, 2007,  I lost him to liver cancer.
I've blanked a lot of it out..and I know I seldom speak of Frank.  I know I had a hard time wrapping my mind around what had happened to him..and like Patrick..Frank was apparently healthy..then suddenly, in late January,  he came home with terrible pain in his left arm..I rushed him to the hospital.. He was gone from me by March 22.
Nedra, my best friend since high school, took a plane out from Arkansas and stayed a month with me.
I think I went a little mad.
I'd had enough of this life..my son was losing his kidneys..I was worried sick and I had to leave our home..and return to Riverside to be with my son, Dan.  Danny became my priority and it probably kept me sane.  I was needed by my son.

Isn't it amazing what you can survive?  And this is nothing to what some folks go through.

It seems I'm not the type to let life beat me..and I won't let it beat those I love.  I needed to be with my son.
The children all came..my Sandy took a plane immediately from Georgia..and all four girls came.
Eventually everyone returned home and I was alone in a town far from home..so I packed up and another dear friend, Ann, took a bus to be with me and helped me move back  home to Riverside..
and here I met Howard...and eventually began to live again..

I've written a book here ..and just think what it would have been if I had put ALL the details down.
Suffice to say..you can survive anything if you give life a chance.
There have been times, I've wanted to just give up.
I still cry, sometimes too much...but I have Howard to make me smile...and my precious family and the dearest friends in the world.
Someone always walks beside you..you are never alone.  I thought I was when Patrick died..but I was not.
It's Patrick who walks beside me and makes me carry on.
Love,
Mona

28 comments:

  1. Yet another incredibly wonderful story. My very first reaction, upon reading the first few lines, was to bust out laughing, heartily! You can be so very, very amusing, Mona!

    When I got to the Match.com, I burst out laughing all over again. It just seemed so jolly funny, the way you told it! Not the fact that you'd met online, not that at all.

    However, that you have done so, successfully, twice and both times found, met and married in such a short space of time, two wonderful, loving, caring men. Wow! That must be a world record :)

    You are (and were)so beautiful and have (and had) such a delightful personality, it's no wonder you were 'snapped up'!

    You have clearly always been confident in knowing exactly who you are and what you want out of life and your boundless love and energy has served you well.

    This is a truly amazing story, as wonderful and interesting to read as the story of Howard and you. I think you have now taken a step towards becoming a legend! With that unblemished reputation still firmly intact!

    Just altogether fabulous, Mona!! What an amazing and astounding woman you are!!

    Huge hug xoxo

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  2. Wow, Mona. You didn't tell me much about Frank only Patrick and Howard.
    You are so lucky to have found three wonderful, kind loving men. You have been blessed.
    Hugs, Mary

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  3. i met my second husband in a bar too.

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  4. Talk about a colourful life. I love it. Go with your gut feelings I say. At least you had 6 years with Frank. Now you have darling patient Howard. You are blessed even though there have been rough patches. I love your wonderful spirit for life.
    Big Hugs Kay

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  5. Beautiful! I wish I could get my Sister to try one of those sites! I know that they have put some incredibly loving couples together, like you! I know that your PH will always be a blessing to you and that those precious memories of Frank will be in your heart forever! Have a blessed day dear Mona, HUGS!

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  6. What a beautiful story... A story, lived by you.

    You are a survivor, that's for sure.

    And know what? I think you are more lovely now, with gray hair. I do. And I am not just saying that, to-make-nice. I mean it.

    Lots of hugs,
    Tessa~
    "Here there be musing" blog
    "Here there be more words" blog
    "Here there be whimsey" blog

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  7. Never ever stop telling your stories . . .
    Beautiful tribute to choosing life . . . and love . . .

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  8. I loved the "cute shoes, soft sweaters . . ."!

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  9. I'm so glad I didn't miss this second post.Bittersweet,uplifting and encouraging.You have been blessed.I'm kinda hoping there will be a 3rd post. For Patrick.

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  10. Who knew that Match.com could produce such wonderful men in our age bracket! I thought it was only for young people ...boy was I wrong! Hugs, Penny

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  11. You are a beautiful woman, Mona, inside and out. It's not surprising at all that you've found love 3 times. I loved this story. Blessings to you and your PH!

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  12. Another testament that love knows no limit...plenty for everyone! Life is way too short to hem and haw around when living is more important! I'm so glad you found 3 marvelous men...I know women who can't seem to find any!

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  13. Mona, Thank you for sharing this with your blog family. I think our first love is a hard to forget, if you ever do. But I think we are allowed to love again. You look happy , so I hope you truly are. xoxo,Susie

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  14. Mona....what would the world do without you? I know how much hope and inspiration you have just given to others....I cannot wait to relay your story to my sister! It appears you have been blessed after all of your heartbreaks! I just love you!

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  15. I love this story and I love how you never give up no matter what. You are such an inspiration and such a lovely person.

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  16. i can't believe you managed to find not one but two wonderful husbands on line.. you were truly blessed both times.. and this story and the other one a few days ago has not changed your reputation at all for me. i am just happy for you that you had happiness from both of these men and from your first husband.

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  17. Wow, what a wonderful story. I always wondered about him. Perhaps it was just too painful to go through this after your first husband died. A friend of ours went through a similar situation.
    I was talking to my friend about her daughter that just lost her husband. Only in his twenties. My friend says that she now thinks she will never have a child. She is afraid to spend money because she feels she needs it for a lifetime of being a widow. Poor child. She is beautiful and has the best smile. She will meet someone I am sure, when this tragedy gets easier to deal with.
    Mona you are such a lovely lady. I am not surprised that 3 men have fallen in love with you.

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  18. Mona you are a survivor and are so lucky to have found three men who meant and mean so much to you. Have a blessed day. Madeline

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  19. Your reputation is just great with me. Glad you met your husbands - no matter how!

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  20. This was a wonderful post. Cute shoes and soft sweaters gave me a chuckle.

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  21. Oh, dear Mona, your reputation is wonderful! I'm sorry for all of the pain you've gone through through the years but so happy God has put the perfect person in your life.
    Be a sweetie,
    Shelia ;)

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  22. Good Morning Sunshine, what a great story you shaerd with us. Always love reading your blogs. Take today for yourself, relax , enjoy your day.
    Barbara

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  23. i'm late in getting here.
    i am so moved by this story.
    but i sense some kind of embarrassment that you feel somehow... for meeting them online? or for wanting to have someone special in your life?
    you shouldn't feel any of that.
    you have wonderful love to give.
    and these have ALL been wonderful men.
    i think you've blessed their lives.
    i know you bless ours just by the sharing of it here.
    xo♥

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  24. I've always been taught that God doesn't close one door without opening another. It seems HE has really been taking care of you.
    I am so glad you've found happiness again with PH....and he with you.
    hugs, bj

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  25. How wonderful to find love not once, not twice, but three times in a lifetime. And how you met is not even important.

    I've enjoyed the posts about finding love online.

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  26. I love your story!! It IS very much like mine....except that you have known more love in your life than most people! I lived in survival mode during my 41 years of marriage. After I divorced I remember thinking - "There is NO ONE who truly loves me. I am alone and really have always been alone." Of course my family and friends loved me - but you know what I mean.
    Louis Dean and I finding each other on eHarmony was THE best thing to happen in my life - other than the births of my children! I pray for him and his health every day. He was 68 when we met and will be 78 November 16th. I was 55 and am now 66. But be it a day or a year or 25 years - I live each one to the fullest! No regrets!!!
    I say to you - Bravo!!!!

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  27. Mona, yet another reason we fellow bloggers truly love you as your posts as you share much of yourself and your life. My Pat and I also met through an online dating service and have been together nearly 18 years and married for 15.

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  28. Searching for the Best Dating Site? Join to find your perfect date.

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