I am used to being open and up front with my friends. We usually chat on with no worry about offending. What happens when old friends, those known to us for years and years, those you raised your children around, have been so close to and shared so much, suddenly seems almost like a stranger.
It seems that we have to be so careful, not only with what we blog about..but how we talk and what we share with close friends.
I am going through that with a dear friend of mine..one that I have known for about 50 years.
Yes...THAT long.
She is going to meetings, lots of them..and during our conversation tonight..she mentioned some of what they are pushing at these meetings.
Several times during our phone conversation we found ourselves on such completely different pages that we fell silent. Not for long of course..we love one another. Were in our late teens when we met. I believe she was 18 and I was 19 and just beginning our little families.
I guess the reason I am writing this is because it's troublesome.
Another case some months back, is one where I made a connection on Classmates.com. A lovely woman..who was a beautiful child when we were in high school. We wrote to one another...so glad to find someone who remembered all the people we remembered. Then it happened.
A "hate mail" appeared in my email ..and as I read it..I could feel the shock..and then a sort of cold disbelieving fear sweep over me as I read. The letter was so full of hatred, name calling of our elected officials, etc...that I just sat stunned. I got on the computer and wrote to my "classmate," told her I had received and read her letter...and to please, please, never contact me again for any reason..signed my name and that was that. I said this nicely. Very nicely.
My hands were shaking.
Yes..I know this goes on..and that I am not the only one but to me..it's very disturbing.
I do not easily just brush off that sort of thing. She accused people of horrific things. Thankfully this is not a common occurrance ..at least I hope not. Maybe it is more common than I know.
Everyone has a right to their opinions...everyone! And I also have a right to turn away for the hatred.
I have to wonder what causes this.
I wonder at our growing more and more alienated from one another in our country.and even within our families.
We can stay away from certain subjects with our "friends" but when this has never been the case because of how close your friendship is, it's hard.
It's very difficult for me.
Another post with no pictures ...
I've had the beam put up in the family room...did I tell you? :) I have to show you...and If I've already told you..then I won't tell you again about my beautiful beam! :)
Love,
Mona
Social media makes it easy for some folks to write things that they wouldn't say in person...that can cause trouble! I'm sorry you had this happen to you but it sounds like you handled it very nicely. I guess I'm getting to that age where I don't want to deal with negativity or people who seem to suck your soul right out of you and I'm not afraid to just walk away or scroll on by! I wish you only good things and happy thoughts this weekend of Labor Day...enjoy time with PH and smile! All's good!
ReplyDeleteI feel for you, Mona--this is upsetting to the core. I eliminated all of my "friends" on FB to family members. That was the best thing I've ever done.
ReplyDeleteLove and peace to you, dear lady.
Jane x
Well said Mona . . . difficult to experience though, especially when we've felt like "being on the same page" and then experiencing not even being "in the same book!" I guess I will never be free from caring but I have reached a point where relationships for me need to contain ingredients like kindness, respect, regard that enhance rather than take away. I need to be truthful in my relationships when we agree as well as when we disagree. Sometimes it just simply becomes impossible to keep a "once wonderful relationship" when two people are at such opposite poles. I guess nothing is ever constant. I have had friendships which have just been "the best" and years later found ourselves at opposite places. Very sad and difficult to go through. I think I have more boundaries now then when I was younger . . . Not sure if I am making sense . . . wish we could be visiting in person than trying to write it.
ReplyDeleteI think many of us can empathise with what you are feeling, not that knowing this will help. It takes courage to draw the line and to remain true to ones value system and you did that.
ReplyDeleteoh Mona, thats so sad but sometimes we just take a bit to realize some people change, some not for the better,
ReplyDeletehold on to the good memories ,
you did the right thing in my opinion,
she sounds troubled, you don't need that,,take care sweet lady,
Yep... I don't allow hatred either! We don't all agree on subjects but we can agree to disagree:) Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!
ReplyDeleteMona, I am sorry this has happened to you. I think as we age...some of us(not you and me..LOL) get a bit touched...so damn set in our ways you could not bend us with dynamite. Politics is one of those areas I just will not venture into with others. My long time best friend passed away 3 years ago...without mending her fences between her sisters and her only son. I tried one time to breach the subject with her and she became angry. I did apologize....but I begged her not to close the door on her son...he had gone to live with her ex-husband when he was 13 years old...some 30 some years ago. At her funeral, I saw sadness and anger from her sisters and her son. Broke my heart. This was not the same woman I went thru school with. Set in her stubbornness at the end...so sad. Hugs to you sweet Mona... we all love you..so you might have to think about that. xoxo,Susie
ReplyDeleteMona you are such a sweet, kind lady I am sorry this happened to you. Have a blessed day and a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Madeline
ReplyDeleteRemember when I did a post, in my "Here There Be More Words" blog page???? On this topic? Political differences causing strife?
ReplyDeleteOur Beloved Country, for whatever reason we each believe, has become very divided. And even in the 2 main divisions, there are more divisions. It is very sad.
Yes, we each have the Right to our own opinion. But we also have the Duty, to respect the opinions of others. And especially, the Duty to not try to sway everyone in our reach.
(The following not directed at you, Mona. But at all bloggers)
Think! Would your opinions, be swayed, by those of others? I doubt it. So please stop passing out "Political Screams". They don't help anyone.
Work for your cause, if you feel like it. But do it, in a constructive way, please.
Hugs, Tessa
Ohhhh and.... Very Seasonal new Banner pic!!!! (I now call our Headers, Banners. It looks 'prettier' somehow.) :-))))
ReplyDeleteSo sorry for the hurt, frustration and confusion you had to experience. Even though I don't know you, I get the feeling you have mostly remained the same throughout your life. Life experiences change us all somewhat but I think you have always been a sweet, compassionate, caring lady. The people like the ones you speak of, must have experienced some deeply hurtful situation that affected them this way or they have allowed themselves to be influenced by opinions contrary to what they previously believed. Whatever the reason, you did the right thing. None of need negativity in our lives. Don't let this change you, stay the same sweet, funny lady we all love to visit.
ReplyDeleteSherry
well whatever hate or rudeness it was.......you are better off not bring around it. You dont need that in your life.
ReplyDeleteIt is a painful experience and sad. I remember the following quote and taught it to my children. It has held me in good stead.
ReplyDelete"Say what you mean. Mean what you say. But don't say it mean."
Yours is such a timely post for me. I used to blog all the time but in the last couple of years I've really slowed down and now folks don't visit my blog very often.
ReplyDeleteI surely didn't want to say anything hateful in my posts, just wanted to speak my true feelings, but fear stopped me and has kept me silent to the point that blogging became almost pointless..
Folks in blogland are very opinionated and lashing back has become the norm .
I am so sorry you have been hurt by folks who feel their feeling are the only important ones on this planet:( that's a sad commentary on the human experience.
I am so sorry, Mona. I have been gone most of the summer. I have people that I no longer see because they are so prejudiced and judgmental of others. I think some people think when they get to a certain age that they can leave grace by the roadside and proceed without caution. I tell my grandkids all the time BE KIND. I am thinking maybe we need to remind our grownup friends of that, too. Bless you- I have missed you! xo Diana
ReplyDeleteIf we were all a bit kinder and gentler in our words and thoughts....there will always be people who think differently, but I suppose I just like to stay on the positive side of things....You are a beautiful person inside and out so don't let your friend get you down....hugs Mona!
ReplyDeleteNegative or hateful people have grown in numbers, lately it seems, and how sad. I agree with everything you said i this post, Mona and applaud you for letting others know how YOU feel. ..Good for you!
ReplyDeleteAs Miss Diana Ross sang many years ago hold true today more than ever. "What the World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love!" My heart hurts for you sweet lady.
ReplyDeleteI'm sendin' you warm fuzzy thoughts and smiles for your dear soul. People can be just plain old mean.
God bless and have a delightful day my beautiful friend.
I used to be on FB right much--mostly to see pictures of my grandchildren, and to see what some old friends were doing. THEN--I saw people were determined to use it for a political forum and to try to witness to others about their faith. Well--we all know anything we type and that is read by anther can always be taken differently as it was written, to begin with. And, just in my opinion, maybe it would be better if people want to talk about these things, it would be better to do it in person, so that nothing is misconstrued, and also that they can see the face of the person they're talking to--to see if there is a smile there or a "mean, overbearing, annoyed look" to go with the words they've said! Even hearing someone's voice on the phone gives one a better feel for what they're saying--but even then, people get crossed up.
ReplyDeleteThere are always going to be people who disagree with what I think...and vice-versa! And our world is getting more separated, and it's so unfortunate!
I dislike drama. I dislike contention. I don't like confrontations--I grew up in all of that, so I try to stay away from it. If someone posts something about their grandchildren, I try to "like" the pictures and say how cute they are, or if someone is sick or is missing someone,, I try to console them. I find I don't do too much more than that.. I rarely even post something on my own page anymore. I have mood swings at times anyway, so one day, I could be "up" and another day, "down", and I don't expect people to understand that. Ever since I've had Fibromyalgia, I've found that my emotions have been different, and all over the place, and there are days I am mostly on the heating pad and not on the computer anyway. It seems that to be a good Facebook-er--the people I know expect everyone in their "circle" to be on there each night, joking about something, or putting pictures of what they cooked for dinner, where they went that day, some even put at least one "selfie" a day, they write about their aches and pains, their arguments with family or friends,. And .on and on. I can't keep up---and if it's that way, I don't want to keep up. To me--blogs are so much more interesting to read--even (or maybe because!), I don't know the people I'm reading about!
Stepping down off my soapbox--and I didn't even mean it to be a "soapbox'! ;) Hope it didn't seem that way, if so-- I have just broken the "rules" I didn't like about Facebook--so forgive me, Mona!
Bless you, Mona--I sure hope this thing has gotten straightened out! Don't you just hate it when there's contention in the air??