Tuesday, September 1, 2009


First I want to thank those of you who wrote offering support. Perhaps some of you are right and this tiny health issue played a part..but mostly it was this:

My husbands family was not pleased with his decision to marry after being alone just a year. Actually 14 months. There was a lot of anger with a bit of violence thrown in. We seemed to have worked it through..but on Sunday evening it became very clear to me that the problem has just been swept under the rug and that I remain the enemy and that the words of apology that were spoken to me were insincere.

It is useless to try and explain but I am going to try. Suffice to say I am in a family that I simply do not belong in...and it hurts. My husband is a dear and sweet man. We are trying so hard to be happy. WE are getting old. Time is of the essence here. Yes, he and I are very different, but it works for us for the most part. I am dealing with anger here in this family.

Now..between family matters which have about broken my heart...to coming on and visiting blogs I love and women I have grown to care for...to find anger...and controversy and side taking...I was just disheartened. I will try and stay away from controversy! I will not deal with life and then come on here and watch or read hatred and anger! I cannot. I won't. As they say..if you do not like what I say on my blog...don't come back. So I won't.
I am so sad..so sad. I liked these people from what I knew of them. Funny, intelligent and appeared so kind. We can all write what we want...that is so true...but I feel right now as though I have lost something.
A bit of the joy of blogging has lost it's charm for now. Can you all understand that? Perhaps my eyes are just opened. Perhaps it was all just too good to be true!
I admit to thinking that at times.
So..in closing this..I just want to say ...I do not care what your religion is...or your political agenda or your sexual preferences or if you are married or single or talented or not talented, short, tall, thin fat...blah blah...I care only if you are kind. A good person. Not hurtful. Not full of anger.
At this late stage of the game I want peace. I've seen a President shot, his brother shot, dirty politics, lost two precious husbands, had a brother who I adore so badly injured in an accident that he is a quad, etc. etc. and there are those with lots more on their plates than I have. I DO NOT want to come here and read anger and hatred for a young President who is just getting off the ground without giving him a chance. That is just my choice. I love my country but I am not blind to her faults. I am hurting here and I am tired. A dear bloggy friend is suffering from a brain tumor and facing surgery. THAT is what interests me. Trying in some ...way to comfort her. There are truly tragic things in this world...without making problems when none need exist. We are Americans FIRST. Aren't we? I am so ...discouraged at this time.

I will leave you with this message. IF YOU CANNOT SAY SOMETHING NICE...DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL. I care about all of you..very much. I am exercising my freedom of speech, not my freedom to hate and cause unrest and divide.

It will hurt if I lose followers...but if I do..I will survive.

Hugs and love to all.

So...wanna see my new iron! :)


  1. Mona, I do so agree with you. We all have our burdens to bear in the real world, so we don't need to come here and have someone rain on our parade. The Lord always told us to be kind, considerate and gentle to all. That's all I want too. I will continue to try my best to lift people up and give them all the affirmation they need and deserve. Some are so talented and others like me try hard. Even if it is bad, I tried, so that's what's really important. Life is too short to go around being unkind and cruel to others. A small smile and a pat on the back is all most of us need to face another day. God Bless and do the best you can. That is all any of us can do. Hugs, Marty

  2. Mona, I have thought of you so often today. I am truly sorry you are going through such a bad time. I am keeping you in my prayers.

    I don't get too serious on my blog for this very reason....I don't want any hard feelings. I want my blogging to be enjoyable..I can turn on the news anytime of the day and get upset.

    I am also a huge believer that we need to be kind to one another. What we give out comes back...you can bank on that.

    Sending you hugs and love,

  3. Wow. I must have missed something. Sounds like a good thing that I missed. Actually, the opposite, but you get my meaning. lol

    I will be very happy to only write positive and encouraging things. I've been very fortunate that I've only had those kinds of comments on my blog.

  4. (in the far background "rah rah yay, yay, rah")
    Do you hear someting?
    That's me CHEERING YOU ON!
    Good choice! Good girl!
    But I must say - if you are reading other people's opinions on their blogs, and you don't care for them - don't read them Mona. Don't go back there. It's like hanging up on a telemarket (sorry!) but just hang up! Who the heck needs that kind of stuff in blogland? NO ONE!!!!!!

    Gosh I'm sorry about your husband's family. I cannot even imagine what that would be like. Can't they just see that you two are happy and be happy for you? Why is that so hard? I've always heard that if someone remarries shortly after losing a spouse, it just justifies that they loved being married, loved the companionship and comraderie. Why can't they see that? I know you don'tknow the answer. I'm just kind of venting.
    Life is just so darn short - there just isn't time for all the bickering.
    I am trying to surround myself with people who are positive and love me. And if they aren't or don't, I just really don't have time for them anymore. My sister included. I'm over it. Yeah it hurts, she is my only sibling, but, it's been going on for 15 years now and . . . I'm DONE! I don't want to be criticized, ridiculed, taken advantage of or talked about any more. I've even ventured away from a few "old friends" and made a fewl new ones - ones who have introduced me to so many fun new things! I am having more fun now thatn I have had in YEARS!
    I am so glad I have discontinued with the negative and moved on to the positive.
    So once again - GOOD GIRL! Who cares if you lose followers. The ones that stay are the ones that count - right?

    BIG HUGS! Are you sick of me commenting to you yet? :)

    Ok, so what's with the tease of a new iron? As in the appliance used for the "CHORE" of ironing? My mom loved it, I detest it. So, I might not be the best person to be happy about a new one to. :)

    Relax. Clear your mind. Have a glass of wine. Turn on the Angel game and kick back.
    Another big hug. :) Karen

  5. Oh Mona,
    You just made me so sad too! I feel so bad for you right now and I so understand how your feeling. My Mom is in a new relationship and I will do my best to not make her feel bad in anyway. My dad passed 2 years ago but my Mom is so happy right now and its good. I don't understand families being so mean like that. I am sorry you've had some meaness on here from other bloggers too. I voted for President Obama and I am so proud to have our first black president. My hope, just like yours is that we can all be kind to each other regardless of our politics or religion. We are all American's after all. Hang in there my friend. I need to go be sad for awhile. Cindy

  6. Mona, My heart is aching that you have found pain in life and in blogging. Be picky girl, don't let others opinions cut you..just drop them. For any followers dropped positive bloggers will add on your world will be a more uplifting place. Hang in there, my prayers are with you. God Bless!!!

  7. At my age...I REALLY don't care what others say or do. Yes I realize where you are coming from...been there & done that and it is what it is. As for blogging yes it is hard to please all those you reads your blog...BUT...if you are not true to yourself and with your freedom of speech, you will feel empty...the same goes for those in your life too!
    I was taught a long time ago you glean what is good for you and throw out what isn't. Information is a good tool and you decide what is good for you. I read many "different" kinds of blogs, and I take what I WANT from it and move on...the same goes for people.
    Yes I will fight for what I believe in...and yet still be "open" to learn new things and ways.
    Saying all this, it hurts when others "attack" you & yours...but one needs to learn & to remember we are "free" to be who we are meant to be. LOVE is the greatest gift and I show love to ALL not to a few. Too bad most don't know what Love truly is!
    Stand your ground and love the one your with!

  8. Mona, I'm sorry to hear of your family's discord with your happiness with your new husband. Let them be your age and judge either of you. It's not right. Children's opinions are important but not the end to anything discussed between a man & woman. You two do what makes you both happy. Eventually the kids will accept or move on. Hugs friend.

    As far as bloggers go, you know how I feel. I simply don't justify "why's" No one's business. YOu can read or not. Follow or not. But don't dare tell me how to run my blog. I am but a tiny matter in this big world. Some days i'm up, some down and most, i'm very content and singing about my house to dogs who just don't care that I can't sing. :)

    Love to you Mona!!

  9. Mona -- you said it well. I came to blogging to see what is good and lovely and kind -- luckily 99% of what I see is. Sometimes I do see what you're talking about and yes I'm dissapointed - but then I can choose not to visit those places again. But still go to those spots that are ... good and lovely and kind. Take care -- know that your blogger friends love you!

  10. Mona...well said! You haven't lost this follower!

  11. I missed what was said that upset you so much. I think that hitting the delete button is the best way to deal with some people.
    I agree, too much negativity can ruin life in general. I think the only choice we have is to steer clear of negative people whenever we can.
    As far as your personal situation, your husbands' family need to live their own lives, and let you and your husband live yours. Life is way too short. Maybe you should consider moving across the country......seriously.

  12. There's several blogs that I just quit going to because of the negative vibes I always got there. I try to say nice things to people, but I have to mean them or else i can't write it. If I can't find something nice to say..I just quitely close the door and no one knows when I've been there. I try to keep my blogging light...cooking, grands, decorating, being silly...this is what I like to blog about. Every now and then, a strong feeling comes thru and altho I don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings, we're all adults here. I have and will always be true to myself. I don't voice my opinions much on my blog but if I am asked a direct question, I do get up on my soap box every now and then.
    As for your family. I am so sorry some of them are being mean to you. I say, if you and your husband love each other, square your shoulders and hang on for dear life. They can all just go suck an egg !!! :)
    I also know that when you begin to feel stronger, you will also begin to see things in a better light...
    And..I agree with HILARY...move away if it would make you and hubby happier....I'm sure that may be easier said than done....

  13. Mona, I am so sorry you are enduring such a sad situation & I have lifted a prayer for you. I hope it works out for the best.

    Have a lovely week, Mona.

  14. Mona I'm so sorry you are feeling sad and frustrated my friend! It's your blog and you say as you will. We will all be hear to read every word and enjoy it. You are exactly right about this country as well. We all need to stay positive.

    I hope your friend does well. That is tough and very sad. My prayers go out to her.

    ~Take Care, ~Melissa :)

  15. Marty39.....I needed to get a grip...I mean people are people. They have their rights. Thanks Marty!

    Barb~Bella Vista....Thanks, Barb. I am not a child..and there is no need for me let EVERYTHING get me down. I guess...blogging is sometimes my "good" place to be...but shoot..that is not anyone elses responsibility. I'm moving on.

    Aspie Mom... :) No one said anything to me on my blog. Not at all. I was visiting and began to run into such ...no matter. No, no one came on here and said anything to me. It's the family thing too!

    Karen....YOU are such a hoot. I could never get tired of you commenting. I love all of it. Made me smile...and you have your family problems. Most of us have some pain in the rear stuff going on. It's called life. It just gets so old...and the political things...it's just so..disheartening!

    Cindy (Applestone Cottage).....OH NO! I have to stop this bull. I cannot make YOU sad. Darn it! Smile Sweetie! Look! See? I 'm smiling..ok? :):)
    Wanna see my new iron? Ok? All better now? Shame on me!! I love you, Cindy!!!

    Nezzy...you sweetheart! You make me smile. I'm fine. I think. :)

    Diane....Wise words! I know all of what you say...I just do not want our country so divided..and us attacking one another! I hate it! Oops..I said that four letter word!

    A Stitch in Thyme...Tammy...I know where you are coming from. Its different with you...but...like I said..I KNOW where you are coming from. It's not a huge pissing contest on your blog.

    Mid Atlantic Martha...you are always such a sweetheart. I let family problems get to me...and I guess the two things...just threw me. It just seems to go on and on and on! As on TV..I can turn it off..same here ..walk away.

    Hilary...it is just the negitive political stuff that goes on...and like a sweet bloggy friend said...we see them one way...then read "stuff" and suddenly they are no longer that person..and it is...a bit of a shock! My problem. LOL Gettin' a grip here! :)

    bj.....Sweetie...I know you have your opinions..but you are always kind. Always! A delight! Howard would never move away from his two grandchildren. Please understand that Howards two children are not my problem...it is the daughter in law...long story. I cannot fix it. I thought I could. I am just out of place here. Howards two children are precious and good people. They disapproved..but so far have been nice. Even if they don't like me or want me here ..they hide it well. It is an unpleasant feeling. I cannot go on with it much longer. The snapping, hissing at me, embarrassing me, laughing as though at some secret...running into the other room and talking together...constant whispering behind their hands..and glancing at each other knowingly. I am sooo fed up with the rudeness.

    Blushing Rose...thanks, Marydon. You have a good week too! :)

    Melissa Miller. ...Thanks, Sweetie..I am fine. You always understand me.

    Ok..nuff of this. I'm movin' on..no more crying in my beer...so to speak.

    I'm gonna show you my new Iron tomorrow...bedtime for me now. Hugs...and lots of love to all of you!!

  16. I'm proud of you girl! You found your voice. Now back away from the delete key!

    Can't wait to see that iron, as long as I don't have to use it.

  17. Mona, I too must have missed exactly what was said but I agree with most commenters above which summed up says: hit the delete button and don't let it get to you.

    It's your blog and you have every right to say what you want on it. Blogs are like TV, if you don't like it, turn the channel.


  18. Mona, I am so sorry that you have had to go through this. I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. My best advice at the moment is to just be true to yourself.
    Hugs ~Sue

  19. GM Mona...girl you know how I feel..via emails..Now I'm so glad to see you got a Shark and girl they are the company that also mades those great stream mops they are showning on TV...Tootsie have one of those and says she loves it...and Girl I still Iron all my curtains and pillows, and linens and every now and then even a dress ha ha!! Now glad to see you hang in there..You know I love ya girl..Now go enjoy your Life with Howard the rest will take care of it self...a BIG HUG to you girl...Hugs and smiles Gl♥ria

  20. I´m so sorry that Your husbands family acts like they do! Whay can´t people be happy when two persons finds each other? Doesn´t matter how long time has passed! I really hope they can change their minds!

    Some blogs are so filled with hate and I can´t understand why! Even worse is when they spread their hatred in their comments in other persons blogs! As You say, if they can´t write something nice, don´t write at all!
    Have a great day now!

  21. I once heard it said that 'What others think of you is none or your business' and they are great words to live by, who cares what others think, praise the fact that you have found love in this wonderful marriage. Let them think what they may...your hearts belong together! May God always bless you wwith the strength to endure life's hardships Mona...you are an amazing woman!!!

  22. Compassion, love, and faith will overcome jealousy, misery, and selfishness everytime. You are a strong and loving soul and I'm proud that you have the strength to live your life and enjoy happiness. Others negative actions will be mirrored back to them and you will soar above it. Be happy and iron away you sweet diva you.
    Happy Twirls

  23. I only found your blog today, and reading this one made me feel, that you are someone I would like to get to know. Life is so short and people who are critical and angry(which I can be don't get me wrong), need to really think about who they are angry with really. I had sadness in my soul as I read and than great joy for your words ring resonantly within me too. Hugs and positive vibes for who you are!

  24. Hi Mona ~~ I am so sad to hear that you are being treated so unjustly. I will pray for you, that you find peace in your heart. Give your burdens to God..it had helped me, trust me.

    sending you a hug,

  25. Regarding your situation with your Dh's family, there is a book called "Boundaries" By Dr. Henry Cloud. This book helped me, for the first time in my life understand that I don't have to let people dump on me in order to be nice and I don't have to live other peoples dysfunctionalities. I can say "no" to people. I can tell people, including family, "You may not talk to me like that." I could never do that before I read "Boundaries". You and your DH might benefit from going through this book together and formulating a plan for how to deal with his family.

    Beth (aka Tovah)
    P.S. Don't visit my blog. It IS often political :0


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