~NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART~

Well...I wrote to my oldest Granddaughter. She has two children six and eight years old. She and her little family live in Georgia. I just said to write and tell me how the kids were and asked her to write and tell me about her day and this is what she wrote me back.
Her email was my first of the day..while I was drinking my coffee.

My Dearest Grandma,

I am writing to let you know that I have made it an amazing 8 years and 7 days before having to tend to a child and his vomit. He vomits anything that I feed him or give him to drink. I am officially a mother. My poor baby has...the FLU! (or some other fun loving virus) He has puked ritz crackers (chunky), saltines, (very chunky), ginger ale, and a grape popsicle (deep purple). Along with Motrin for his fever and...ANTI-NAUSEA medication. Which was RED. As I was running him to the down stairs bathroom and he was puking as we ran I was gagging and trying not to let loose myself. I don't puke! Not that I can't. I just don't. I hate it! So, after bravely rubbing his back, applying a cool cloth to his neck and repeating over and over that it will be okay. I asked him to remain in the bathroom while I fetch him some clean clothes and then clean the living room carpet. Katie, mind you, has decided to join the party in the bathroom and has remarked with a huge smile, "GROSS!" So, I run upstairs grab pj's and get him changed in a gingerly fashion, whilst trying not to touch the regurgitated goodness. I then grab the carpet cleaner and a rag and go to do as I dread to do and clean the carpet. Hoping it isn't too pungent. To my surprise it was not pungent in the least! Because as my daughter put it only as she could, "Jake(the dog) ate Jaden's puke mom!! It was so cool and gross!!!!! It was right here (pointing) and here (more pointing) Ewwww huh?" (Turns her attention back to the television as the fun is over) SO, I had to feel the carpet for the WET spots so I would know where to apply the cleaner. (gagging all the way). My helpful dog, not so helpful after all!! I then got my child all snuggled up in the chair with a pan in his lap and then called my dear husband at work and proclaimed, "I think you were meant to be the stay at home parent, not me! I don't do puke!" Oh, to add to this most joyous occasion, I have a headache and diarrhea. So I have been running up the stairs to go in case he needs to use the downstairs bathroom and hoping he doesn't while I am gone because I don't want him to be alone. Or with Katie urging on with her "Gross" comments. That just doesn't help anything. Really. What if she starts too! I don't thnk I can do two. Wait, of course I can, I am Wonder Woman (waned....costume to prove said title. Diarrhea logo must be included.)

I hope this finds you diarrhea and puke free!

Love always,

Kristy
p.s. My dog is waiting patiently by my son's side in case there is any more tasty treats.