Thursday, December 8, 2016

WHAT HAS HAPPENED....

I will do the best I can to get through this post.   It's been so long since I have posted that I have sort of  forgotten now it's done...so this may or may not get finished.  Depends.

First of all..thank you so much to my dear blog friends that have contacted me and those who may have wondered what happened to me.
Partly I think "taking a little break" just ran into days and then into months.  Then tragedy began to happen to me.  I've already had a lot of loss, as you may know and I have picked myself up and went on after my little companion Mele died on September 7th.   I thought my heart was broken then...but I knew from experience that time would help...only time..

Then my daughters gave me another little dog for my 80th birthday in October and life went on.
He is a little boy and his name is "Buddy"...
Little did I know..my life would once again shatter and fall at my feet....worse.

On November 19th my first born child,  my son Patrick, died suddenly of a heart attack and a massive stroke that happened during the surgery.  My husband Pat, also died of a massive stroke and as in a nightmare I watched my son at nearly the same age as his father...linger for only two days and then made his transition.  He was never alone for one moment.  We stood vigil all night in shifts in ICU.and most of the time there was 22 of us by his side.  Then we knew that it was nearly over and softly each of us..one by one began singing Bob Dylan's "BLACKBIRD"  and then he let go and was gone. His sisters and brothers were so strong...all of my family was.  His wife..she is just lost right now.  I know exactly how she feels.  She lost her soul mate as I once lost mine.  We all clung together and sobbed...

The nurses never once said a word about the number of people in his cubicle...and brought us a cart of coffee and drinks.  From time to time someone would bring food...little was eaten.
My son is gone..and this is the second child I have lost in a very short time.  We are still healing from my first born daughter, Sandy.  Family flew in from Georgia, Colorado, San Francisco... Pat and Sandy were the "big brother and big sister" of my children.  Most of you know I have seven.  I will always say "I have seven children" until the day I die.  

We are devastated!  So...this is what has happened to me.  This is the first time I have spoken in detail of it.  And as it is with Sandy, I see him everywhere..hear his voice saying "Hey Mom!"

This is a bad time for me.
I will be back perhaps...but maybe not.  I've been through death before but this...this is almost too much.  My life is upside down right now.  I cannot post a picture of my son.  It's way too soon.  I have written some of the details because some have inquired...it was sudden.  To dear friends who read my blog but don't blog themselves ...and I can't talk about it over and over..so this is what happened.
Again...thank you for inquiring after me..  It is so appreciated.
Love,
Mona


48 comments:

  1. My goodness. What a time you have had. So sorry for you losses. Death is never easy to deal with but when it comes so close together, it's almost unbearable. Saying a prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sending thoughts, prayers and hugs! I am so very sorry for your loss! I can not imagine your pain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh Mona, my heart goes out to you. Suck devastating loss is hard to bare. God Bless. You are in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Darling Mona...I thank you for sharing. I will not even begin to imagine your heartbreak. I offer you my prayers and my hugs. Bless you and those you love. I think of you often. May the good Lord bless and hold you close.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sending love, hugs and lots of prayers.

    Joyce

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear, dear Mona ~ Love, hugs and prayers for you and your family at this time.

    FlowerLady

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh Mona, my heart breaks for you. I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Love and hugs sent to you. Deb

    ReplyDelete
  8. There are NO words to express how my heart is breaking for you and your precious family:( Sending you my love and prayers your way dear Mona!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, dear Mona!! You're in my prayers, sweet lady. I wish I could give you a big hug and let you cry on my shoulder. You have been through so much. I'm so sorry!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thank you for sharing your losses with us, prayers for you for strength to get through each day. I am so sorry for your losses, and to have 3 in such a short time is beyond heartbreaking. I count your pup in those 3 because they are family to.. we will be waiting when you are ready to post again.. my heart aches for you in this holiday season

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my sweet friend, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had magic words for you. I can only send lots of prayers, love and hugs your way. I'm here if you ever need a sounding board. Much Love, Lynne

    ReplyDelete
  12. I will not intrude on your grief. I have no words. Know my prayers and thoughts are with you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I am filled with sorrow knowing that you are suffering from the loss of your son. Know that I am offering up prayers for you and your family.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I am so sorry to hear of your tragic loss.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am sorry for the loss of your son. You have been through so much during this past year. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care,

    Susie D.

    ReplyDelete
  16. There is nothing I can say that you haven't already heard. Just know that 2 people you've never met in Texas are thinking of you and sending loving thoughts to you.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oooohhhh my God, Mona!!!!! I went on here to see what was on here, haven't been forever!!!! Saw you and was full of joy, and, read this and I am a complete mess!!!!I am devastated to say the least!!! Too much, and, it just can't be real!!! I am so very sorry, I am still reeling the loss of my mother, and, I cannot bear all this sadness!!! Please feel my hugs, my prayers, no words for you ..... I am sending my heartfelt condolences and I just want to see you :( Love you my dear, sweet heartbroken friend xo

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh Mona, y heart aches for you and your family. You have lost, again, part of you. Your very being. Blessings and prayers for you.
    I've missed your blog, but now is the time to try to heal. Pam

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mona- Oh- I am so so sorry that you have lost another child from this world. I know that YOU know they are in heaven with your husband but that does NOT make it any easier. God bless you. You KNOW that I will pray for you and what you and your whole family go through as you walk the horrible path that lies ahead of you. Love you, Mona. xo Diana

    ReplyDelete
  20. So very sorry about your loss.I have no words for the loss of a child.Hugs and I am glad you have family at this time.Thank you for letting us readers know.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh my . . .
    Heart breaking . .
    Sending a separate mail . . .

    ReplyDelete
  22. Thankyou so much Mona for getting in touch with me via other mail. My sympathy is with you and your family. We will touch base again, when you are ready. You are on my mind and in my heart. Till later, dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mona, I want to send prayers and hugs to you and your family. You have been in my thoughts. I never dreamed something so heart wrenching had happened. xoxo, Susie

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh dear,Mona, truly there are no words. Sending prayers for you and your family. Jane

    ReplyDelete
  25. I am so sorry for this horrendous loss Mona! Keeping you in prayer.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ohh mona... I love you. Im so sorry you have to deal with such horrible heart ache adn loss. YOu are missed here.. but take your time and know that you and your family will be in my prayers this christmas season.. and please come back to blogging when you are feeling better.. we'll be here! much love to you!
    xoxo
    vivian

    ReplyDelete
  27. Mona, I am so sorry to hear of your sons passing. I want you to know my prayers are with you every night. have a blessed day. Madeline

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear Mona, I am so sorry to hear this and can only imagine how terrible this loss is. I will keep you in my prayers and hope that your family will keep you close to them and comfort you. I know they will. Sending you hugs and all of my love, your blog buddy Diane

    ReplyDelete
  29. My heart breaks for you. All I can say, is that we will meet them again......it may seem like an eternity from our side, but moments to them. Have faith, dear girl. Have faith.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Oh Dear Mona...I'm so sorry. I had tears rolling down my cheeks as I read this. I was worried about you but don't have your email and hoped we would hear from you. But this news is truly devastating. I can't even imagine your pain but please know you will be in my prayers daily from now on. God bless you and keep you and give you comfort. Love you.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Our condolences to you and your family, Mona. There are no other words that can offer comfort in the face of such sadness and loss. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Mona, you are forever in my thoughts and prayers. I also have had
    some issues but I want to make this a Hello my Friend and welcome back. Sometimes just talking about our sadness helps in the long run. My Blog is waiting for me as well. I pray the New Year 2017 will be a happier and better one for all. sending hugs your way, look for me I'm at your side wishing you peace.

    ReplyDelete
  33. There are no words. Take care and know that there are many prayers coming your way.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Oh, Mona--I check by here about once a week or so, and I became so happy to see a post! But then, my joy turned to sorrow. I cannot know what it means to have lost 2 of your beloved children ! I do know how I have mourned the loss of our daughter 18 years ago. I have prayed for strength to expect things--for better times, for worse. But to always learn something---for anything blessed to happen to all believers.
    I prayed more than I'd ever prayed, (seemingly...to me), and one day, I finally did feel like getting out of bed...and going again, etc.. It felt as though I had died, then little by little, I "came to myself", (Luke 15:6) and started going and doing a bit more. I still want her on this earth, being my "drop in anytime, girl!" We talked on the phone everyday....I had a wonderful relationship with the child of my youth--.how wonderful it was to be with her, and to remember all the good memories. Let the friends you love comfort you! Make sure you cry all you need to. (Please don't shut yourself away from the ones who love you. I did it and I was so wrong but my dear family and friends visited for me to cry as much as I needed to--to hold my hand in their warming ones these.. So seriously, dear Mona---you have many, many friends and family---and we will all wait for you! We love you, but we understand, as well, that you really just don't know anything yet, you will as time needs to go by. Love you, dear Mona..praying for you to come though this--and you will!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I love you and think of you so often, knowing that you would post when you were able to. Such great losses you have had, and you deserve to rest from blogging, or simply walk away. I know that your children are your heart and that it is breaking right now. You are loved by so many... more than you know dear one. xox

    ReplyDelete
  36. Oh dear Mona, that's a lot to cope with in such a short time! My heartfelt wishes are sent to you today. Families grow and families shrink, but our love moves on forward with each new generation. You have had more than your share of sadness to deal with so I feel that God must love you very much to keep you by the side of all these family members. They needed you and you were always there for them. You are very special x

    ReplyDelete
  37. Dear Mona,

    I am so deeply sorry for your losses. They are huge, and I know your family is your everything. So many are thinking of you tonight and keeping you in their heart. I wish you and your family as much peace as you can feel this holiday.

    Love to you all,

    Val ♥

    ReplyDelete
  38. Oh, Dear sweet Mona! You have been on my heart for sometime but I had missed this post and just sent you an email inquiring about you! I'm so so sorry and don't even have the words to say. My heart is breaking for you and I cannot imagine what you're going through. Please know I'll be praying for you and your family and I'm sending love and hugs. God be with you my sweet friend.
    Shelia

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh, Mona...I am so heartsick for you, I don't know what to do. I've prayed for you over Sandy...not knowing you've lost your son. I can't even begin to image how you are hurting...I wish I could find words to express how sorry I am...my heart breaks....

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thinking of you my friend--- and so so sorry for your loss. What a sad time. Call or text or email me if you need to talk

    ReplyDelete
  41. Oh my dear Mona, how sad to know you have lost your son at an early age! I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You are frequently in my thoughts but this is the first time I have read any blogs for quite some time, but somehow I was compelled to read it tonight. Please know you have my condolences and warm thoughts. Take care, my dear friend.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Dear Mona, as I was saying my prayers tonight before bedtime, I asked God to bring you some kind of comfort..I then wanted to leave a comment to say I am thinking of you. Sending you prayers..warm thoughts and love.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Oh my goodness that is utterly heartbreaking. Please know you are in my prayers. So deeply sorry for your loss.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dear Mona,

    You came to mind this evening and I just thought I'd stop by here and let you know that you and your family continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.

    Susie D.

    ReplyDelete
  45. You were only waiting for this moment to be free.....

    I found your blog because I saw a referring URL from it on my blog's stats. I went to Youtube and played Blackbird and I thought it was so beautiful that your family chose that song to sing to him in his last moments. I am a Christian and maybe you are, too, lean on God and let Him carry you. There are no words to say in this situation. Our children are not supposed to die before we do. Blessings and comfort to you, he is on the rainbow bridge. Hugs, Rockwhisperer

    ReplyDelete
  46. Dear Mona, you were on my heart today and I've prayed for you. I do hope your heart is a little lighter and there is some joy. Love and miss you.
    Blessings,
    Shelia ;)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Praying for you and your family! I agree so devastating! Wishing that God wraps you in his arms of comfort.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts! Your comments are very important to me.