I'm noticing it..more and more. It's the holidays once more and I'm waiting for that sudden burst of enthusiasm, that excitement of what's to come...and with each passing day I wait.
I know it's up to me. Thanksgiving, Christmas, all of it, just doesn't "happen"...we have to MAKE it.
I know this.
So..why am I waiting when I know that what I am expecting will come, but not like it was before.
It's changing. Children and grandchildren have moved away and it's hard to get everyone together.
Traffic, you know. I'm joking of course.
Some even have to work on that day. What happened to the times when everyone being together was a given. It was unthinkable that someone would not be able to join the family for these precious holidays unless there was illness.
I knew it would never happen to me. Never to me. Our family's losses, all the changes that have taken place were never supposed to happen.
....but they have.
I used to decorate for the holidays with every single thing I owned. I don't anymore.
I could not find my Fall Leaves this year..and I didn't even have PH climb up and look for them.
I let them stay where they were. I made do with what I had.
So many of us won't be together this year, and this year more will be missing than last year.
But being who I am..tomorrow is the day that the paper hanger comes and begins putting up that plaid wallpaper that has been giving me heart palpatations!
I cannot believe I am going through with it. An ENTIRE ROOM OF RED PLAID! Am I nuts?
YES!! I AM!
You see, this is my last "go around" and it keeps my mind off things. I am determined to "make happy!" and so should you! Holiday's are not always fun. But in spite of all that has happened..I will decorate the living hell out of this house..bake cookies..and look forward to the ones that WILL be gathering together.
I will be GRATEFUL! Just watch me!
"Live, love, laugh and be happy..." isn't that the way the song goes?