I'm noticing it..more and more. It's the holidays once more and I'm waiting for that sudden burst of enthusiasm, that excitement of what's to come...and with each passing day I wait.
I know it's up to me. Thanksgiving, Christmas, all of it, just doesn't "happen"...we have to MAKE it.
I know this.
So..why am I waiting when I know that what I am expecting will come, but not like it was before.
It's changing. Children and grandchildren have moved away and it's hard to get everyone together.
Traffic, you know. I'm joking of course.
Some even have to work on that day. What happened to the times when everyone being together was a given. It was unthinkable that someone would not be able to join the family for these precious holidays unless there was illness.
I knew it would never happen to me. Never to me. Our family's losses, all the changes that have taken place were never supposed to happen.
....but they have.
I used to decorate for the holidays with every single thing I owned. I don't anymore.
I could not find my Fall Leaves this year..and I didn't even have PH climb up and look for them.
I let them stay where they were. I made do with what I had.
So many of us won't be together this year, and this year more will be missing than last year.
I'm sad.
But being who I am..tomorrow is the day that the paper hanger comes and begins putting up that plaid wallpaper that has been giving me heart palpatations!
I cannot believe I am going through with it. An ENTIRE ROOM OF RED PLAID! Am I nuts?
YES!! I AM!
You see, this is my last "go around" and it keeps my mind off things. I am determined to "make happy!" and so should you! Holiday's are not always fun. But in spite of all that has happened..I will decorate the living hell out of this house..bake cookies..and look forward to the ones that WILL be gathering together.
I will be GRATEFUL! Just watch me!
:)
"Live, love, laugh and be happy..." isn't that the way the song goes?
Hugs,
Mona
Awwwww Hon..... You need a big hug. A great big hug. Not a gentle little one, which I'm always passing out. :-) For the bits of blues, which come your way.
ReplyDeleteAnd you just know, that I will have to say something like...... For our peace of mind, we have to adjust to what happens with passing time. Where gathering at our house, used to be the norm, now it isn't. And often, that's the way it *should* be. New extended families need to make their own traditions. :-) Enough "PollyAnna"!!!!
I haven't been doing much "seasonal decorating" this year either. Used to do so, for every holiday!!! Not now. I'm even considering taking down remaining Autumn/Samhain decor, and putting up Christmas/Yule, early. (Watching too many Hallmark Ch. Movies, obviously :-) )
But... So far... Not doing any of that... :-)
Are you sure you want all that red plaid wallpaper? Can husband live with it? You could sell it on eBay. You're not really tied into putting it up..... Just asking.....
Big hugs,
Tessa
I think you will love your red plaid paper....can't wait to see it! Things change don't they Mona......our daughter will be with us Thanksgiving, but works Christmas eve and day. If Kyleigh's dad is not off Christmas, it will just be the three of us. We are a family of nurses, firemen, and railroad engineers.....all work on holidays. We will still have Christmas, just on a different day....hugs...
ReplyDeleteSO true Mona! It gets harder to get everyone together! There are SO many that have huge families of their own and have a Thanksgiving Dinner at their house! BUT... Christmas EVE is when we are ALL together! I so look forward to that time together! Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!
ReplyDeleteGo for the plaids! !!
ReplyDeleteIf I were nearby I'd pop over with a ton of tea and some cookies. This time of life is one of change, for certain. The blues will pass and instead of sadness I wish you moments overwhelmed with tender and precious memories of joyful holidays past and the loved ones who were with you.
Keeping ourselves busy keeps "things" at bay. Like you the season is an adjustment for me. The dog and I will be ok. I'll decorate the house because I love the season, creating new memories for the pup and me. Darling I know the journey you're on and it's not an easy road. Like you trying to stay busy. I cannot wait to see the new plaid wall paper.... hugs my friend. fondly ~lynne~
ReplyDeleteMona, keep happy thoughts in your mind. I know what it is to not have everyone here for the holidays, but I am thankful for the ones that do come. Like you said they grow up move away but we still have the memories of when they were young and sill at home. Looking forward to seeing your plaid wall paper. Have a blessed day. Madeline
ReplyDeleteMona, I always say those that want to gather will make the effort, and those that don't ...won't. Family time is wonderful and often under appreciated. Some times the younger families have more juggling to do to be able to go here and there. We can encourage them..but we have to give a little here and there ourselves. Blessings, xoxo, Susie
ReplyDeletep.s. want to see the plaid room.
i am hosting the biggest thanksgiving i have ever done. i'm getting nervous and need to get started on it! i can't wait to see your wallpaper!
ReplyDeleteLife changes for us all...some good changes, some life altering ones...I admire your courage to keep the holiday spirit alive! And....I think you are going to love the plaid wallpaper...plaid is everywhere these days! In fact...you will have the most festive home in the neighborhood I'll bet! Big hugs dear Mona!
ReplyDeleteNothing stays the same. Mother was the keeper of our holidays. I'm sure your holidays will be wonderful.
ReplyDeleteLook forward to seeing the plaid paper.
I hear you, Mona. Life really does change for us. We will have one less face at the table this year and four new ones as my oldest son will soon marry a woman with 3 young adult children. It's an odd world- so different than the times I was raised in-where family was ALWAYS together for a holiday- no matter what!
ReplyDeleteI, too, make a conscious decision to BE HAPPY with what is to be because the other choice is not a good one. We old broads do what we have to do, don't we? lol
Can't wait to see your red plaid room. That is all the rage this year, you know. Everyone is MAD for PLAID! xoDiana
Dear Mona, thank you for your post. I'm a grieving mom too. Everything has changed in the family, but I swallow hard and try to make the best of things. I will decorate but not as much as before also. I want the gkids to come and enjoy and celebrate our Savior's birth. Love when you post is always very uplifting, so thanks. Enjoy and big hugs for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. The dynamic's of one's family change when there is such loss. I guess it's good that we can't know the future. My post was not uplifting..I know..but if you can make someone know they are not alone..it's good. :)
DeleteMy Mom is feeling very similar to you Mona. 2 of my brothers have just moved away and that makes 5 of us out of state and her and my sister the last ones in Chicago...except for my sister's kiddos and grandkiddos. Mom's been sad and weepy the past few weeks. We'll see who'll make it up for the annual Christmas gathering the weekend before Christmas. It used to be Mom hosting it all, then my brothers, but now my nieces and nephew take turns. In my family my kids are hopefully coming on Christmas day but as divorces and kids moving out of state happen, change does too. But go and decorate your home and enjoy your plaid wallpaper! I know it will look lovely and you'll enjoy it and that's all that matters! I can't wait to see the finished product! Smile and remember that magic can happen this time of year!
ReplyDeleteSince David's brother passed away so recently, I really don't give a shit this year about any of the holidays. I don't care if we have turkey, pie, whipped cream, hot dinner rolls, mashed potatoes or any of it. Wondering if this will become my annual holiday mantra, not giving a shit about any of it. Maybe some plaid wallpaper would cheer me up. Can't wait to see yours. xo
ReplyDeleteI hear a resilience in your words . . .
ReplyDeleteIt is different though, isn't it Mona . . .
It is like "the zest" flew away . . .
for both of us . . .
As I grow older and the younger generations do what I once did, I still decorate for the few that can gather. No taking away the fun of the holidays, even though some are missing. I celebrate for them too and always will. If one loses their spirit, well then, that is just sad. We are what we are........but we can still put on a hell of a decorative holiday, eh. Love Ya, n Hi to PH. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs to you my friend. It is amazing how life flies by and all the changes we once never even entertained start happening. It is the same in my house...I am the holiday person in my extended family and each year, it is more and more difficult to gather the family for even one day. I try to be happy that the nieces and nephews have grown up to have their own families and/or need to work on the holidays because they are doctors and nurses and are needed. Still, it makes me sad and nostalgic for when we were all much younger! My own daughter, our only child, now lives in Virginia - going to grad school. I know it is unlikely she will ever live in Wisconsin again and that has been something I still cannot wrap my head around - we will be reduced to "visiting" a few times of year. Sigh. But, putting all that depressing stuff aside, there is much to be thankful for and I am giving it my best to find the joy in this new phase of life! So, let's decorate, decorate, decorate, lol! Looking forward to that plaid wallpaper - I know it is going to be GORGEOUS and a spirit lifter. Jane
ReplyDeleteDear Mkna, you have expressed feelings that many of us share this time of year, more so than other times. We have 2 less family members with us this approaching holiday season. My mother died so close to Christmas last year with her services held before New Year's Day that it will be a bittersweet first holiday for our family and Pat's aunt died a few months later. Both women were the famiky matriarchs which gives us all a sense of our own mortality as well.
ReplyDeleteCelebrate, my friend, as best you can and even though there will be sad moments and memories, cherish those who are near and dear. And, yes, hang that red plaid wallpaper if it makes you happy...go for it!
Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment on my post about the Dollar Tree houses that i spray painted. They were so easy to do and since i am a fellow lover of red, i was thinking of doing red ones and adding some of the textured snow and then mica chips to them for a bit of glisten. I can not wait to see your red plaid room!! How exciting!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,.
Deb
Such a Heartfelt Post! Yes, at this Season of Life I do find myself not Decorating with as much reckless abandon as I used to, mostly due to limited energy more than anything else! Oh... and making The Big Move and Life Change at an advanced Season of Life kinda put the kabosh on Going Big since I'll still be readying the Old Historic Property for Sale and trying to get the New Dream Home readied for the Holidays! Ha ha ha I'm just Thankful I could FIND at least some of our Holiday Decor after moving since most is still boxed up and stacked around the garages and I just don't have it in me to go on a Mission to find it! *smiles* We only have one Grown Son and his Family still Local, so I totally know what you mean once everyone is far flung and you can no longer all get together... there's the Missing of those who cannot be there in person. Hugs from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian
ReplyDeleteLast year I was in bed with back problems over the holidays staring at the ceiling. So this year even though it's just Mom (94) and me, I realize how lucky I am. I'll be decorating Mom's house with all her favorite things and just planted some cheerful flowers outside her windows. Do I wish for the old days with 15 to 20 people around for the holidays? You bet. Do I drive by houses full of people and wish I could be with them? Yes. But life is full of changes, so we must change too. So, be excited about your beautiful plaid, all your friends and family, and all your memories - the old ones and the new ones.
ReplyDelete