Some of you know that I was widowed a couple of times. I was married to my first husband Patrick for 43 years. I married him at seventeen years old. He was my life.
Patrick was not one for much gift giving but every now and then he would surprise me and when he did his gifts always showed so much thought and usually something totally expected.
One year, I think it was Christmas 1993, Pat did one of his surprises.
This little bear turned up on Christmas morning with my name on his little crocheted hat..and I was amazed that Pat had thought to do such a thing as order this for me!
I love this little bear! He represents HOPE.
See my name on the little hat? It says "Mona's Christmas Bear"
You cannot see it in the photo but he has a little red heart on his chest that used to light up and blink when you pushed it and it played a lot of Christmas Carols.
In 1997 on December 15th at 3:30am...Pat passed away. He died of a massive stroke. He had lung cancer that we knew nothing about and it went to his brain killing him. He was in a coma for ten days and then he died. I didn't get to say goodby, it was sudden.
That Christmas I tried to get some things out..but I just could not...but I did take my little bear down from the closet shelf and I kept him close to me.
But he had stopped playing..his little red heart stopped beating.
I thought it was the batteries...I checked them..put in new ones..nothing!!
I thought it must be in the wiring. I ended up taking the batteries out..I kept him in a large Christmas shopping bag on my closet shelf. I could look up there and see him every now and then, the tippy top of his little red hat..and it was comforting.
Four years went by and I remarried and moved to Bakersfield California. The shopping bag went on my closet shelf as always. The closet was huge with high shelves I could barely reach and the bag sat there for several years. I didn't take him out for Christmas. Now and then I would think about it but I didn't. And time went by.
One Christmas several years later I went in the closet for something...and suddenly the entire shopping bag fell off the shelf. AND MY BEAR BEGAN TO PLAY CHRISTMAS MUSIC! HIS LITTLE RED HEART BEATING AWAY!!
You will not believe this part...and I understand...but it happened. I picked him up and began crying and when I could think straight I remembered...he had no batteries..or did he? I unzipped the back and sure enough...empty!!
No one has been able to give me an explanation. I asked my husband and he didn't have a clue..I even called some dear friends long distance and told them...very old dear friends of Pat's and mine since high school..
I cried off and on for a few days...I didn't understand. I wanted an answer.
Sometimes..I just think there are those little Christmas miracles that happen.
My Christmas bear comes out every year now. He is sitting in the living room among all the toys...I hug him when I walk by... and he has new batteries (I am always hopeful) but he doesn't play when you push on his little heart..
The end of this story is that my little Christmas bear plays only now and then.....all by himself. I will suddenly hear that tinkling Christmas music coming from the closet..and then it stops. No one has pushed his little heart..and I wonder.
Merry Christmas ...and may this month of Christmas joy...and sadness... be full of miracles for all of you. I am sure you know the miracle I am praying for.