Our minister asked us today if we had one thing that nobody knew about, one thing we would like to do and have never told a soul for fear of being laughed at, or told how crazy it was..what would it be.
He used to be a lawyer. He said he had a friend that was also a lawyer and one day they were talking and suddenly he said to her "If you could have been anything else in the world..what would it have been?" He said she just stood rooted to the spot and stared at him for a moment and suddenly burst into tears. She said "I would have been a wife and mother. I never wanted to go to college and I never wanted a professional career or to become a lawyer. I was made to go to law school and become a lawyer by my parents..and now it may never happen. It is too late to have children really..and I don't even know how to change being what I am, and I am not happy. I never have been."
He said he has NO idea why he said what he did to her..and felt so bad when she ended up sobbing. He said he began to wonder how many of us are the same. That is when he made the decision to become a minister. He said he did not want to wake up one day at the end of someone else's dream. Thank heavens he did. We love him.
So..I thought about it. So..I will tell you what I wanted to be. I used to dream of being an actress. I never believed I could do such a thing and so..I never did.
I was shy and afraid of criticism. I lost much of my shyness..but not my fear of criticism.
I am not unhappy with what I did with my life. I was meant to be a wife and mother. I think I made some bad decisions in my life..and I do have some regrets...but never about having my babes. I have to think that had I been meant to be an actress I would have been.
I have learned..late..but I have learned that if you want something bad enough..
you can do it. That is old news..I know...but isn't it funny that so few of us really GET it. Most of us drift into what we become or do what is expected of us. How many teachers do you know that adore children..and make a child feel special and really want to learn? Don't we remember every teacher that ever gave of themselves to us? But that is just this one womans opinion..
Goodnight...I think I'm tired. Oh...loved the Acadamy Awards tonight..those dresses!!