OUR LAST CHRISTMAS TOGETHER...

It's one of those days. It started out beautifully. I made coffee..read some emails and then decided to catch a little nap before we had to leave. I had just drifted off when my husband whispered in my ear.."you better come..you have a phone call and I think it's important!" I leaped up and hurried to the kitchen phone. My youngest daughter, Dawn, the one who had just visited..who came to the door in a rain storm on Christmas Eve. I remember telling you that she was alone when I wrote about it. She had come home for Christmas, but, she was not alone. Dawn was never alone because "Mango" her little dog was always with her. Through the trials of her divorce, losing her father..having to send her children to their Daddy and being alone...through all her trials when I wished I could be near her just to hug her...Mango was beside her.
She even took her to work with her every day. No one but someone who has loved a dog SO much, can understand. They are part of you, they are a family member.

Dawn was on the phone and she was crying hysterically. Mango had a cough on Christmas day and she had taken her to the vet when she got home. They told her it was her heart and gave medication she was to pick up this morning. She let Mango out to go potty as usual, and heard her yelping as in great fear or pain. When she rushed out, there was a coyote running away but Mango was right there and Dawn scooped her up and rushed with her into the cabin. She appeared fine except very frightened and Dawn attempted to calm her..and said her little heart was just racing.
Dawn continued to talk calmly to her and pet her. Suddenly she could feel her just relax all over..then she realized Mango had stopped breathing. She said she began to scream..tried to give Mango mouth to mouth, tried to push on her tiny chest..and realized there was NO response..and ran outside screaming and screaming for help. Dawn lives in a cabin up in the mountains of Santa Cruz, Californa. There are other cabins, but not close..but someone heard her..but she continued to scream for help. Others came running..
Mango..our precious little Mango was gone. My daughter is devastated. Heartbroken.
We all are. I have lived through loss, and I hurt for my daughter. I just want to hold her and comfort her. But there is nothing anyone can do and I know this.

She is crying for her dad. She is crying for her divorce..she is crying because her kids are nearly grown and really don't need her as much any more. She is crying for..everything. So am I. She knows I understand her pain. You can't just tell someone who is the middle of loss...that it will get better. They won't believe you. I didn't. You go on...but somewhere deep inside..you will always hurt. Then one day..with out even knowing how it began..you start to live again. You go on..because you have to.

I look down at my feet..and Mele, my little Pom is laying quietly, dozing. I picked her up..held her close and know our days together are numbered. It's called life.
My poor sweet daughter...she will miss her beloved Mango. We all will.