Friday, January 23, 2009

~FORGIVENESS~

A sweet blogger friend brought up this subject and it has been on my mind all day long. I think perhaps everyone is different when it comes to this subject. My husband and I discussed this and he says he would never be able to forgive..this or ..that. I have lived through the "this or that" and you would be amazed what you can forgive.
Some think there are degree's of forgiving ..others think either you do or you don't.
I honestly don't think there is one answer. It depends on the person and the situation. Forgetting is the hard part.
IF we don't forgive do we beat ourselves up over it? No. At least I don't. There are a couple of times in my life I guess I forgave but did not let the person back into my life. Was I sorry? No. My dearest girlfriend since childhood, I forgave her but I never forgot. Unfortunately it has only been these last years of our lives that I have finally stopped making comments..digs? Never again. I wish I could take some of it back..and now she is the one that I asked to forgive me. Thank God she loves me and totally understood. So..there are lots of situations. Have I been cheated on? Yes. Have I been lied to? Yes. Has a best friend betrayed me? Yes.
Life beats the hell out of us sometimes.

8 comments:

Smart Mouth Broad said...

My mother always said that to forgive is to forget. I don't really agree. I think we can forgive but sometimes that doesn't mean you have to accept the person back into your life. Forgiveness is release. Resentment is toxic. It's good to forgive and forget but I don't think that they have to go together.

Mona said...

I AGREE!!!

nikkicrumpet said...

I think it's possible to totally forgive someone...but still not let them back into your life to hurt you again. And to me that's okay. You have the right to protect yourself from people you don't trust. My first husband cheated on me through two pregnancies...I was the cliched "last person to know". I divorced him...forgave him...but I sure wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw him lol Good post...I enjoyed reading your point of view!

Mélia said...

Forgiving is necessary for our own healing. It benefits those who forgive more than the forgiven. Forgetting is another story. When the betrayal is of a deep nature it is imperative for our own sake to vanish the offender from our lives.

Dena ~ swaddlecottage said...

These are such words of wisdom Mona! Unfortunately, the memories are often like tiny shards that pierce when they make their way to the surface. Driven out by the most unsuspecting events...a color or scent, a song...a place or sequence of words spoken innocently by someone else later. Yes, the forgiving is so much easier than the forgetting. It takes time to learn to live with the shards...

Hugs,
Dena

The Blue Ridge Gal said...

I think sometimes people hurt us only because they have a completely different set of morals.... not as stringent as our own. But hurt is hurt and sometimes you just cannot forget it, so it almost becomes impossible to forgive.

Mona said...

Di..I think you exactly right!
EXACTLY!
It was a really complex subject your brought up. It made me reflect on what I really thought about it. Thanks!
Mona

bj said...

You are so right...life CAN beat the hell out of you...and it has me, a time or two. I do believe you can forgive, maybe not forget, and just go on with your life without them. I think the worst thing is NOT to forgive someone, no matter what they do. NOW, having said that...I can think of a lot of things that, if someone did, I couldn't forgive them...like hurt my kids or my grands. Knock me down, step in my face but ya better leave my kids alone...
xo bj